Category: Dating and Relationships
When meeting and wanting to date someone, who should make the first move? Should the guy get up the nerve and ask out the girl, or, should the girl ask out the guy? What do you think?
hmm, you're already assuming they both want to date, in my experience that doesn't necesarily happen. So, which ever finds the other atractive, should go and make a move, otherwise what's the point?
I agree with BlackBird and if they like each other, then it doesn't matter who makes the first move, as long as the both know how the other feels.
I think whoever gets up the nerve to ask first. It's the 21st cnetury, not the Fifties where the guy had to do all the leading and the woman always just went along. I honestly never understood why such rules were in place anyhow.
I think that if you really think that there's a chance you should just go for it. Even if that's really scarry. Will you get shot down? Will you get rejected? Will you be embaraced? Yes, most of the time, but on that one occasion when you aren't you may find something amazing. Be brave and never give up. If you've got the feeling then make the move, whether you're male or female.
i say you tell them you want to fuck thier brains out and if you're a chick you've already won him... i mean...
I don't think it matters who makes the first move. Sometimes people are too shy and might need help from the other person. If my girlfriend thought that men should make the first move probaply we would never go out, lol.
Well, you're right. This is the twenty-first century. But, how do you get the nerve to ask someone out? I mean, what if you're shy? )I'm shy in a lot of ways, so I need help on this.) It's not that if I meet someone I don't want to ask them out. It's just getting up the nerve to do it. I mean, this person is the best, the greatest, and when you talk to them, you want to ask them. It's just that you lose you're nerve. Hmmmmm.
so consider ways that aren't so nerve wracking Write to them or something, even explain you're shy if they don't know you, but remember one thing, if you don't ask and you never find the courage you'll be left wondering what if, and you'll never know. what you can gain, but you've lost nothing except maybe a little pride.
In my situation, i got up the nerve to tell him i liked him but he was the one who took the first step in calling me his girlfriend and coming to visit me. I don't think there's anything wrong with changing the gender roles up a bit...i agree with previous posts in that whomever has the feeling should just get up the nerve and express themselves.
I do, however strongly believe that the man should always propose when it comes to engagement.
that is all
d
DL, I'm the wrong guy to ask about shyness. You may have to work something out yourself. Not only am I shy in social situations, but I'm also an introvert, so I tend to prefer much smaller groups of folks or to just sometimes be by myself. I'm also at a disadvantage because unless there are social skills I just didn't end up learning, since I'm totally blind I don't have the advantage of scanning a room to see if there's anyone interesting or interested in me. I'm at the mercy of whoever might want to speak to me. But I think if you want something, you have to find a way to go after it, because waiting around for the other person to magically land in your lap or to get the telepathic hints you've been sending merely because you wish it so is pretty unlikely. But it's not up to me to tell you what you avhe to do. You just ahve to find a way to jump in there and you risk success or failure and if you do not succeed, spend as little time as possible beating yourself up over it and try it again with another prospect until you get things right. It may be something that requires practice. See, I'm just not sure, but this is what comes to mind at five-such in the morning. Hahahaha!
If you have a close friend that wouldn't mind role-playing with you, especially a friend of the same gender as the person you want to ask out, practice, practice practice. Have them act out saying yes inthusiastically, laughing at you, rejecting you, saying yes, but not jumping over the moon. Have them use variations, that way you never know which response they're going to give you. That way it is more like the real thing. Also you can act out the worst-case scenario and see that it's not that bad. You might also have fun along the way. YAY! Theatre Games!
I wish I could make he first move, but I'm to hhy...I could make a whole speech and forget it all when I'm ready to actually talk.
There are some really good responses here.
My advice is to treat the beginning move in a relationship like the beginning of a journey. You gotta get started if you want to go anywhere, and it's not a total commitment, it's just a little baby step. If it doesn't go anywhere, then ... oh well ... but if it does, then you've met another human being and shared a little of yourself and gotten to know them a little better.
None of us can predict the future, so just live for today. (Within reason.)
Bob
Oh, I just saw something in a previous post. I absolutely disagree that the man should always be the one to prepose marriage. How mid-evil is that? Come on people, it's 2007. Yeesh.
well for lesbians sake it should be the butch of the 2. They are the more manly ones usually.
Sorry, but I don't agree with that assessment.
I think I would agree with Danielle, that the guy should be the one to propose. I'm not even sure why, and I know it's the 21st century, but that's how I feel.
how can you agree you are not gay. lol.
I agree with most of you. Men does not always have to be the first to ask a girl. I think it should come from who ever feels like initiating things. In my situation, most of the guys that went out with me were always the first to ask me out, so I didn’t have a problem with that. I think I only ask a guy ones. It takes a lot for me to ask a guy out and yeah, he didn’t give me an answer, so that means it’s a no. It’s all right at least I have the courage to tell him how I really feel, it kind of hurt cause it was a rejection, but at least I tried.
I don't think the man should have to be the one to make the first move. As has already been said, this is the twenty-first century. But, speaking personally, the man does have to make the first move, because I'm sure as hell not going to. Yes, I realize this means I could potentially miss out on something great and such and so forth, but there you have it. I'm just not the first move kinda girl, I guess, for all I'm very outspoken and what-not. I colossally suck at the whole verbalizing feelings thing, even if it's just to say I might be romantically interested in someone. *shrugs*
As for marriage, I agree with Danielle. I do think the man should be the one to propose, twenty-first century or no.
Roar! I wrote this once already and it logged me out. Hopefully I can rewrite it decently.
Personally I'm of the opinion that it really depends on the people involved, and whoever is interested and gets up the nerve first should ask; gender for me doesn't really enter into it. For myself I'm a bit more comfortable being asked I think, but I have asked before as well. The same goes for my opinion on marriage proposal.
I really am curious though: it seems several people that have posted think the guy should propose. Why is that? Is it just because it's "tradition" or "just how it's done?" (note that I'm not trying to come off as hostile with that question. I'm genuinely interested in people's answers.)